The other day, I was chatting with a friend who had attended an event for women in business. As is often the way, the attendees had been given a lovely goody bag to take away with them. We were admiring its contents, one after another. A luscious body lotion…..a pampering bath potion….and (my eyes lit up at this point) an interestingly packaged dildo. Or so I thought. Half a second later realised that it was in fact a stick of rock! As in the sweet. Oh, the disappointment – on my part; and amusement – on her part.
It got me thinking about how sex toys are perceived. My sense is that the vast majority of people consider them to be beyond the realm of regular sex. And if something is beyond the realm of regular sex, it becomes ‘perverted’, (or kinky, or risqué – which, in this context, are code words for perverted).
Far from perverting or obstructing sexual fulfillment, sex toys promote a healthy and varied experience of sexual pleasure. They don’t – and shouldn’t – replace flesh to flesh experience; they enhance it.
The skin is capable of enjoying a wide variety of sensation. From dildos to feather ticklers, toys provide more than a bit of slap and tickle. Giving your skin a variety of pleasurable sensations opens your sensitivity and awareness on subtler levels. In relationship, it cultivates sensitivity towards your partner. Solo, it cultivates sensitivity to your own needs – both physically and emotionally.
If you are new to toys, try experimenting with something simple like a satin tie or a soft leather scarf. See how your body responds. If you do decide to buy a pleasure toy, go for quality. Its more expensive, but its worth it. If something going on or in your body, it needs to be healthy.
Rest assured that if I ever put together a goody bag for an event – for people of any gender, there will be a pleasure toy in it. In the meantime here are two stores I recommend: