Recently, I’ve been discussing transition with a number of clients – the space between one relationship and another, when feelings for your previous partner haven’t completely gone, but feelings for someone else have started.
A number of people feel uncomfortable about this, even guilty. The thing is that the heart doesn’t work in a linear way. Its more than capable of holding feelings for more than one person. I think that people can struggle to accept their heart’s capacity for non-monogamous, non-linear emotion because our culture values the tidiness of commitment-to-one over the fluidity of more-than-one.
But the heart doesn’t understand tidiness. Emotions are mucky – that’s their glory.
The key to this transition space is to be easy about the messiness. Don’t overthink it, and don’t impose a timeline on your heart. Let it have its own timeline. And one day, of its own accord, the transition will be complete.