Most men I’ve taken into erotic boutiques get a glazed-over look on their usually intelligent faces and say, ‘I wouldnt know what most of these things are, let alone what to do with them.’ They want to shop, but don’t know where to start.
For those of you who want to buy erotic gifts for your partner, but are nervous about setting foot in the shop, here are my top 3 tips to get you in the mood.
1. Let the sales assistant do the work for you
Don’t be afraid to be naive. You’re a customer in a shop not a school boy in a classroom. No one is going to test your knowledge.The sales assistants are there to help you. Rest assured that every question you want to ask, someone else has asked before you.
Don’t be tempted to hide your nervousness in banter, You’re in a sex shop – its likely the banter that falls out of your mouth will be suggestive. And then you’ll just look sleazy, the sales assistant will do a brilliant job at ignoring your awkwardness and you’ll want to run from the shop.
Just be honest. Say something like, ‘I’m not really sure where to start. I’m looking to buy my girlfriend a gift.’
If you’re unsure about how she’ll react to a dildo and leather cuffs, go for a gentler option. Candles, massage candles, massage oils, perfumes and chocolates are all good gifts that won’t get you into trouble and will make her smile.
On a practical note, know what your budget is. You can spend anything from £20 to several hundred on one gift.
If you’re buying lingerie, shop for her not for you. Yes, I know its for you as well, but if doesn’t like it, she won’t wear it. Not the result you want.
Take your clues from what she already wears. Get similar stuff. You want to look at colour, material and style.
Colour – If she wears pinks and whites, don’t buy a black and red combo. Even if thats your fantasy.
Material – If you’ve never seen her – or felt her – in velvet, don’t buy velvet. If you’re unsure, silk is a usually a good option.
Style – Is her lingerie more girl-next-door or vamp? Buy accordingly.
As a general rule, women like both comfort and looks in lingerie.
If you’re unsure or cant remember the colour, material and style that she likes, don’t worry. There’s a way out. Go simple. Tell the sales assistant that this is the first time you’re buying her lingerie and that you want to play it safe. Go for a neutral colour – black or cream, and get something fun and flirty rather than outright sexy. Like a camisole top and knickers.
Think of the shopping trip and the purchase as fun, not dirty. In your mind, it needs to go in a different compartment to lads mags. Mindset might not seem important but it is. Lots of blokes trip up on this one. It bites them in the backside later on when they see their girlfriend enjoying the gifts and being more explicitly sexual than she usually is. Strange but true – lots of men struggle with this and start to see their relationship as ‘dirty’. Not the result you want. Don’t do that to yourself. You want to keep the fun you have with your girlfriend separate in your head to the stuff of lads mag.