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Ladies Day – Secrets of the Kama Sutra

A Salon for Women

Ladies, this is your opportunity to immerse yourself in a day of erotic knowledge. In a small group of 20 women you’ll get detailed information on how to improve your sex life.

We’ll cover the following topics:
Crafting your femininity – how to be the woman you want to be in bed
Boost your body confidence
Sex positions for you and him
Giving and receiving oral pleasure
How to pleasure a man

Date & time: Saturday 16th August 10.30am to 3.30pm

Place: beautiful private venue in Pimlico, central London (Address shared after booking)

Bookings: £95 per person
Payment: via PayPal to vena@venaramphal.com

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Posted by on 27/05/2014 in Erotic Pleasure, Events

 

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Your friends are invested in your marriage

I remember being really distressed at a friend’s response when I told her that I was getting a divorce. She was someone who I considered a good friend and when I called her I expected understanding and kindness. She was cold and critical, and in fact pretty much stopped communicating with me.

It was one of the most surprising and hurtful experiences of my divorce.

The responses of your friends are likely to be varied. Some will be predictable and others will surprise you. Over the years, working with clients on how to tell friends about your divorce, many have said that they have been shocked by a friend’s less than supportive response. More than that, they were confused. ‘But why did he/she react like that? Don’ they want me to be happy? I thought we were friends.’

Remember that your friends’ response to your divorce isn’t just about you….its about them. Your friends are invested in your marriage. It represents stability, certainty and order. Their investment is on two levels – the personal and the symbolic.

On the personal level is about how the pattern of how you and your partner fit into their life. Perhaps you regularly go out for drinks as part of a close knit group. Or you share the same interests and have good conversations and have ‘in jokes’. Maybe you holiday together each year. Or your kids go to the same school and you do parents evenings together. As odd as it may sound, your divorce will disrupt their pattern.

On the symbolic level ‘Marriage – Good. Divorce – Bad’. Divorce is of course much more accepted now, but it is accepted as an unfortunate event. It makes people uncomfortable.

If your friends give you a less than supportive response remember that they might be more invested in your relationship than you realise. Hopefully this will help to make sense of their reaction and give you a starting point to discuss it with them. Check this out  http://thewayofthebody.co.uk/product/first-steps-to-dating-after-divorce/?

 
 

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A Healthy Divorce

I remember when I was getting my divorce I was quite happy to announce to people, “I’m getting a divorce,” in a tone of voice that was bubbly and exuberant. Mostly, people didn’t know how to respond.

Divorce is one of those topics that’s not exactly taboo; its just that we haven’t found a way to talk about it in a healthy and natural way. Divorce is absent in our cultural mythology; we can talk easily about weddings but not divorces. We don’t have the scripts with which to discuss separation and divorce. Finding new language with which to discuss divorce is key to finding healthier experiences of it.

In this radio show for Natural Health Radio I join Jackie Walker to discuss what it means to have a healthy divorce. Once you click on the link you’ll find the ‘Play now’ or ‘Download’ buttons just underneath the description http://bit.ly/1p3n0YC

 
 

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I’m Getting A Divorce – Is It Okay To Feel Excited?

People experience multiple emotions during the process of divorce. Its not straightforward misery! The prospect of a new start brings positive feelings but its easy to feel guilty about feeling good. I explore this in the post below.

Guest Post: Vena Ramphal, “I’m Getting A Divorce – Is It Okay To Feel Excited?”.

 
 

I had a lover’s tiff

Habit is the enemy of romance, but rituals provide a structure in which romance thrives.

Currently, I have a goodbye ritual – sipping coffee and chatting in a lovely cafe before kissing goodbye. I wrote about it a little while ago http://bit.ly/1iKs6Wt

Its a gentle way to part from a lover after a couple of days in each other’s company.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I said goodbye without that ritual. On this occasion, we parted without visiting the cafe. There were kisses for sure, but they were exposed to the sharp air of sudden separation. I convinced myself that this wasn’t a problem. I would be mature about it – I would simply acknowledge my feelings and that would be enough.

But it wasn’t. The sharp air of separation stayed in my lungs and grew into irritation. Three days later, sharp air became the sharp words of a lovers’ tiff.

The balance of energy between lovers is delicate. Rituals help to keep that balance clear and in flow. My goodbye ritual works, but I ignored it and experienced the fallout. I know that gentle goodbyes work for me. I need time to peel myself out of a full immersion in romance, and bring other aspects of life to the fore.

We ignored the ritual because we didn’t feel that we needed it on that day. We had just had tea, and going to the cafe seemed superfluous. But with ritual the content is less important than the performance of it. Its the performance – not the content – that gives romance the structure it needs.

What works for you? What rituals can you put in place to keep the energy of your romantic life clear and in flow?

 
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Posted by on 04/03/2014 in Romance

 

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The Closed Mintiness of Mint Tea

I’ve been reflecting on that moment when you realise you can’t have someone.

Until then, desire is unfettered. During your first meeting when you know nothing about the other person, you have no facts but every imagination. Everything is possible. Until facts start to intrude.

My gut is fluttering and the edges of my skin are breathing. I want but can I have?

For a whole ten minutes I’ve been reclining in the fantasy, ‘I will have him.’ But half a sentence here and a cautious question there reveals, ‘I can’t have him. He’s not available.’ The realisation pulls my spine out of the fantasy into an upright posture. Appropriate body. Now the walls of the cafe seem closer than before and the conversations around us have edges. With good, English propriety I lift my cup and take a sip.

For the first time I taste the mintiness of my mint tea.

 
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Posted by on 19/02/2014 in Erotic Pleasure

 

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On the other side of ‘the norm’

Its the 31st today. Most people drink less alcohol in January. Christmas excess and New Year’s resolutions combine to bring about an abstemious month. To my mind, this makes January a particularly good month for lovemaking.

Alcohol changes your neurology. You simply can’t be fully present in your body. Neither can you touch or kiss your partner with the skill of a good lover.

Sober sex.

Sounds scary to lots of people. But that’s only because its ‘the norm’, and deviating from the norm is one of the scariest things to do.

But on the other side of the norm lies something extraordinary – the sharp, exquisite, awkward, joyful, surprising, feel-every-sensation type of sex.

Its worth making a year of Januarys…..

 
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Posted by on 31/01/2014 in Erotic Pleasure

 

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