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The Year’s Toughest Week for Relationships

We’re entering the year’s toughest week for relationships.

If you are in a challenging time in relationship, these three keys will help you have smooth sailing in your relationship over Christmas and New Year.

1. Take time to choose your words. There’s a saying about ‘the sped arrow and the spoken word’ – you can’t take either back once they are released. If you’re feeling stressed, wait before you speak.

2. Don’t make rash decisions. If you’re feeling irritated or uncomfortable about an aspect of your relationship, remind yourself of this – relationship dynamics get magnified in the family-ar context of Christmas. This isn’t a good time to make decisions about your relationship or partner.

3. Breathe kindly. This is of utmost importance. By breathing kindly you bring kindness to your own body and mind. This automatically releases tension and puts you into a clearer, calmer state of being.

With love.

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Posted by on 23/12/2013 in Marriage

 

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What makes a good marriage?

I recently heard the father of a bride talking about marriage. He said that there are two things he and his wife recommend for a happy marriage.

The first is, ‘Keep talking things through. And listen. Because the listening is powerful in itself. Secondly, be kind to one another.’

I was particularly struck by, ‘Be kind to one another.’ I’ve heard a lot of people advising ‘forgiveness’ or ‘understanding’ as important ingredients in a marriage. But  I think kindness works better.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable with the notion of forgiveness being important in marriage. It assumes that you have the right to forgive. It also has a sense of squaring things up, or wiping the slate clean. Its transactional and cold. Kindness is larger and softer and more inviting.

‘Understanding’ seems plain ridiculous. Human beings do un-understandable things all the time. Especially in relationship. But kindness doesn’t require understanding. It requires allowing the other person to be un-understandable. Its larger and softer and more inviting.

What do you think are the key ingredients of a good marriage?

 
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Posted by on 03/09/2011 in Love, Marriage

 

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