Tag Archives: kissing

Thirsty Throat, Small Needs, Interrupted Foreplay

In the summer of 2006 I made a commitment to live in partnership with my body. I pay attention to what it wants. I do my best to follow its directions, desires and prohibitions.

The more I listen to my body the more clearly I hear it. And the harder it becomes to ignore it, even in the small things.

The other day I was snuggling in bed with a lovely gentleman. He started to kiss me with a look in his eyes that said, “We’re not getting out of bed any time soon.” “Oh…yum!” I thought.

His kisses brought my attention fully into my body. I noticed that I felt thirsty. “Well that’s inconvenient,” I thought and tried to ignore the thirst. Over the next several milliseconds or so I had this internal conversation with my body:

Body: “I’m thirsty.”
Me: “Seriously? Now?”
Body: “I want water.”
Me, nervously: “I can’t interrupt now.”
Body, shouting: “I’M THIRSTY.”
Me: “Okay.”

So I gently pulled my mouth back from his, hugged him with my thighs and arms, and said, “Just one moment, baby…I need to drink some water.” “Sure,” he said, not sounding interrupted at all. “Would you like some?” “No, I’m good.”

I returned a couple of minutes later, thirst slaked and able to devote my full attention to him. If I hadn’t interrupted – and risked throwing him off his physical or emotional game – I wouldn’t have been able to dedicate my whole physicality to lovemaking. I could have ignored it – it was just a bit of a dry throat after all. But I really noticed the clarity of my body’s voice. It demanded wholeness. It wasn’t interested in ignoring its small needs.

Wise body.

The need might be small but its never insignificant.

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Posted by on 13/09/2013 in Erotic Pleasure, Sex


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Smooch Before You Commute

I woke up smiling at the previous night’s kisses. They were still impressing themselves on my mind and mouth.

I felt open, probed, tickled. The act of kissing had changed my sense of self.

I stepped out of bed and my skin goosbumped into the air. I realised that today I would meet the world with a softened body and a gentle mind.

I wondered, ‘What would work be like if everyone spent an hour making out before they went in to the office?’

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Posted by on 12/06/2013 in Erotic Pleasure


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Finding Infinity on a Bank Holiday Afternoon

Romance unbuttons time.

Its attentive adoration sends entire seconds spilling down the back of my knees.

This disarray opens the possibility (though not the certainty, as romance doesn’t do certainty) for in infinity moment to occur.

An infinity moment isn’t a sense that time has stopped. Its more delicate than that. Its a sense that this moment has created in you a feeling of total contentment-happiness. And that the contentment-happiness is so good that you would quite happily stay there for Infinity.

And so it was on a stunning bank holiday afternoon spent kissing and chatting under a cherry blossom tree. The sun, the flowers, his arms and mouth all created an infinity moment.

Romance unbuttons time. So make time for romance. There’s another bank holiday coming up soon…..

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Posted by on 17/05/2013 in Romance


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How to Kiss Your Valentine

The perfect Valentine’s Day kiss is a promise of romance. Its less about steamy sexiness and more about tender curiosity.

Wrap your arms around each other. Hold. Don’t squeeze but don’t be limp about it either. Let your arms be assured but not possessive with their pressure. Open your palms and rest them against the contour of your Valentine’s neck or back or waist or hip.

Open palms, open heart.

Now, slow down. Don’t rush in there with your mouth. Romance breathes in the lull between fleshy contact. So leave a gap between your hug and your kiss. Revel in the gap with your full attention. Drink in the moment and each other.

Now kiss. The key to a good Valentine kiss is restraint. Be restrained in rhythm and pressure. As with your hug (don’t squeeze but don’t be limp) your mouth needs to be confident but not pushy. So, move your lips and tongue in slow and medium paced rhythms. And use gentle to medium pressure. Taste the kiss, don’t devour it.

Let your whole mouth become a medium of tender curiosity.

And don’t wait till the 14th Feb next year to do this again. Fill your year with as many Valentine kisses as you can.

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Posted by on 12/02/2013 in Romance


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The Ethics of Kissing with an Open Mouth

In esoteric yogic-tantric literature, bodily fluids are considered to be potent expressions of self. Blood, sweat, saliva, semen are more than bodily emissions; they carry a person’s essence in them. When you sweat, you release droplets of yourself.

The same body of literature considers the breath to be the link between body and mind. Breath hovers between the physical and subtle and is a potent psycho-physical force. Either physical or mental exertion can alter your breathing pattern. You’re probably holding your breath right now – its a natural reflex to hold our breath when we concentrate on reading or listening to words. The exertion of mind alters the breath.

When you kiss with an open mouth, you mix breath and saliva with the person you’re kissing. You leave a part of yourself in their mouth and take their essence into your own. I always think of exchanging breath in a kiss as a magical moment. Not in the romantic sense but in the alchemical sense. For me, wishes fructify in the exchange of breath.

From an esoteric point of view, kissing is a big deal. Who do you want to share your essence with? Who’s do you want to imbibe? For those on a yogic-tantric path I suggest choosing kissing partners with care. Then the fun can really begin.

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Posted by on 12/03/2012 in Sex


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