Tag Archives: relationship

The Toughest Week of the Year For Relationships

25th December is the start of the last week of the year. For many relationships, it is also the toughest week of the year. The strong energy field of ‘tradition’ that surrounds Christmas, combined with the poignant ‘Auld lang syne’ of New Year’s Eve make people assess, question and argue.

If your relationship has hit a rocky patch, here are three tips to smooth your way through the remaining days of 2014.

1. Take time to choose your words. There’s a saying about ‘the sped arrow and the spoken word’ – you can’t take either back once they are released. If you’re feeling stressed, wait before you speak.

2. Don’t make rash decisions. If you’re feeling irritated or uncomfortable about an aspect of your relationship, remind yourself that relationship dynamics get magnified in the family-ar context of Christmas. This isn’t a good time to make decisions about your relationship or partner.

3. Breathe kindly. This is of utmost importance. By breathing kindly you bring kindness to your own body and mind. This automatically softens any discomfort.

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Posted by on 23/12/2014 in Love, Marriage


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Have the Unromantic Conversations

For romance to thrive in long term relationship you need to have those unromantic conversations. About money, alarm clocks, the thermostat on the central heating. The problem is that we confuse romance with the structure of relationship. We think that those ‘hard’ conversations might kill romance. The truth is that they are simply different aspects of relationship.

The reality of daily life is the container which holds the delicate and nourishing fluid of romantic love. If the container leaks, the fluid drains away. Refusing to have the ‘hard’ conversations creates cracks in the container. Whereas honest discussion and clear agreement about how you arrange your daily life creates a solid container.

Those conversations are distinctly unromantic. Sometimes they’re uncomfortable; sometimes confrontational. But they are the fire in which a solid container of relationship is forged. They create clarity and build trust. They require honesty. They make you work together as a couple to find solutions that work for both of you. Clarity, trust, honesty, togetherness….these conversations create a strong relationship in which romance can thrive.

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Posted by on 05/12/2014 in Marriage, Romance


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