Tag Archives: romantic cafes

The Closed Mintiness of Mint Tea

I’ve been reflecting on that moment when you realise you can’t have someone.

Until then, desire is unfettered. During your first meeting when you know nothing about the other person, you have no facts but every imagination. Everything is possible. Until facts start to intrude.

My gut is fluttering and the edges of my skin are breathing. I want but can I have?

For a whole ten minutes I’ve been reclining in the fantasy, ‘I will have him.’ But half a sentence here and a cautious question there reveals, ‘I can’t have him. He’s not available.’ The realisation pulls my spine out of the fantasy into an upright posture. Appropriate body. Now the walls of the cafe seem closer than before and the conversations around us have edges. With good, English propriety I lift my cup and take a sip.

For the first time I taste the mintiness of my mint tea.

Leave a comment

Posted by on 19/02/2014 in Erotic Pleasure


Tags: , , , , ,

Rituals, Coffee and Goodbye Kisses

Habit is the enemy of romance. But ritual facilitates love’s delicate edges.

We both get withdrawal symptoms a couple of hours before we kiss goodbye. After two days of being soaked in each other’s presence, parting feels like a wrench – a harsh scattering of the gently gathered romantic self. So we’ve figured out a way to transition gently – a ritual that bridges our date-time and saying, ‘Bye.’


In a particular cafe thats always convivially alive.

Its that simple. A couple of hours chatting with each other, chatting with the cafe owner and sometimes with the other customers. It helps us to replant our feet on the ground of daily life.

It works for two reasons. Firstly, we both know that the purpose of our coffee ritual is to disentangle us gently from each other. We agreed this together.

Secondly, the atmosphere in this particular cafe is lively enough to cajole us out being fully absorbed in each other, but friendly enough that we don’t feel intruded upon. Its the perfect balance, acting as a bridge between time together and time apart.

This ritual of coffee invites our attention from each other’s laughter to the laughter of community. The romantic self becomes the social self, and kissing goodbye becomes less of a wrench and more of a twinge.

1 Comment

Posted by on 05/11/2013 in Romance


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,