Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

How to Kiss Your Valentine

The perfect Valentine’s Day kiss is a promise of romance. Its less about steamy sexiness and more about tender curiosity.

Wrap your arms around each other. Hold. Don’t squeeze but don’t be limp about it either. Let your arms be assured but not possessive with their pressure. Open your palms and rest them against the contour of your Valentine’s neck or back or waist or hip.

Open palms, open heart.

Now, slow down. Don’t rush in there with your mouth. Romance breathes in the lull between fleshy contact. So leave a gap between your hug and your kiss. Revel in the gap with your full attention. Drink in the moment and each other.

Now kiss. The key to a good Valentine kiss is restraint. Be restrained in rhythm and pressure. As with your hug (don’t squeeze but don’t be limp) your mouth needs to be confident but not pushy. So, move your lips and tongue in slow and medium paced rhythms. And use gentle to medium pressure. Taste the kiss, don’t devour it.

Let your whole mouth become a medium of tender curiosity.

And don’t wait till the 14th Feb next year to do this again. Fill your year with as many Valentine kisses as you can.

1 Comment

Posted by on 12/02/2013 in Romance


Tags: , , ,

One for the boys scared of erotic boutiques

Most men I’ve taken into erotic boutiques get a glazed-over look on their usually intelligent faces and say, ‘I wouldnt know what most of these things are, let alone what to do with them.’ They want to shop, but don’t know where to start.

For those of you who want to buy erotic gifts for your partner, but are nervous about setting foot in the shop, here are my top 3 tips to get you in the mood.

1. Let the sales assistant do the work for you

Don’t be afraid to be naive. You’re a customer in a shop not a school boy in a classroom. No one is going to test your knowledge.The sales assistants are there to help you. Rest assured that every question you want to ask, someone else has asked before you.

Don’t be tempted to hide your nervousness in banter, You’re in a sex shop – its likely the banter that falls out of your mouth will be suggestive. And then you’ll just look sleazy, the sales assistant will do a brilliant job at ignoring your awkwardness and you’ll want to run from the shop.

Just be honest. Say something like, ‘I’m not really sure where to start. I’m looking to buy my girlfriend a gift.’

If you’re unsure about how she’ll react to a dildo and leather cuffs, go for a gentler option. Candles, massage candles, massage oils, perfumes and chocolates are all good gifts that won’t get you into trouble and will make her smile.

On a practical note, know what your budget is. You can spend anything from £20 to several hundred on one gift.

2. Lingerie

If you’re buying lingerie, shop for her not for you. Yes, I know its for you as well, but if doesn’t like it, she won’t wear it. Not the result you want.

Take your clues from what she already wears. Get similar stuff. You want to look at colour, material and style.

Colour – If she wears pinks and whites, don’t buy a black and red combo. Even if thats your fantasy.

Material – If you’ve never seen her – or felt her – in velvet, don’t buy velvet. If you’re unsure, silk is a usually a good option.

Style – Is her lingerie more girl-next-door or vamp? Buy accordingly.

As a general rule, women like both comfort and looks in lingerie.

If you’re unsure or cant remember the colour, material and style that she likes, don’t worry. There’s a way out. Go simple. Tell the sales assistant that this is the first time you’re buying her lingerie and that you want to play it safe. Go for a neutral colour –  black or cream, and get something fun and flirty rather than outright sexy. Like a camisole top and knickers.

3. Mindset. 

Think of the shopping trip and the purchase as fun, not dirty. In your mind, it needs to go in a different compartment to lads mags. Mindset might not seem important but it is. Lots of blokes trip up on this one. It bites them in the backside later on when they see their girlfriend enjoying the gifts and being more explicitly sexual than she usually is. Strange but true – lots of men struggle with this and start to see their relationship as ‘dirty’. Not the result you want.  Don’t do that to yourself. You want to keep the fun you have with your girlfriend separate in your head to the stuff of lads mag.


I recommend both Coco de Mer and She Said

Leave a comment

Posted by on 13/02/2012 in Erotic Pleasure, Gender, Sex


Tags: , ,